Get ready for the Big Commitment
I’ll walk you through a step-by-step process for preparing yourself for your future partner and your lifelong commitment.
- SPIRITUALLY BE STRONG: Have strong faith in God and a solid belief system that can support you at any point in your life. It also demonstrates that you have a value system and discipline in place. Also, rather than following a religion, I would recommend developing a relationship with God. Religious systems may fail to understand you, but God does not.
- HAVE A RIGHT MINDSET: This is important because sometimes people have incorrect perceptions of marriage or the opposite gender as a result of their mindset being shaped by past experiences or a difficult environment in their upbringing, such as broken homes or friends with strained relationships. I’ve heard a lot of people say that I don’t want to waste my life on relationships and heartbreak. I can only say that other people’s lives do not have to be yours, and the situations you have witnessed do not have to be yours. I am a firm believer that the thoughts you give the power to define your life. Sometimes you would have only seen fights and misunderstandings in your families, but you would have missed seeing the other side after they were reconciled, which is why I advise parents and couples to never have arguments and fights in front of younger generations because these are images that define their ideology about relationships and marriage, which they would replicate with their partners because this is their first school for life lessons, so make sure you give them healthy examples. “Our mind is like a room; it can be clean and beautiful, or it can be so messy that no one can live in it.” So, clear your mind of failures, anger, disappointments, past thoughts, deceptions, self-centered, insensitive, unforgiveness, fear, pride, anxiety, loneliness, and so on, and transform to have a new mind filled with gratitude, self-control, a positive attitude, gentleness to encourage and build one another, and so on. This is feasible.
- By surrounding yourself with positive, encouraging people who will lift you up.
- Do meditation with the word of God or watch motivational videos, whichever will help you renew your mind.
- Reframe your thinking to be more positive, such as if you are afraid you will fail, reframe it as I will do my best and leave the rest to God. Otherwise, if you believe you are a failure, tell yourself, “I was born to conquer.” Which will assist you in overcoming the defeating thoughts.
- Make a gratitude list and focus on the positive.
- Use Affirmations – “I’m a one-of-a-kind and wonderfully made being, today is going to be a good day, I’m not going to give up,” and so on. The words that you speak bring life to the world. As a result, always use appropriate language.
Before you can make a home of your own, mentally set your priorities and practice them so that you can manage your next-level responsibilities, learn to handle stress and pressure at home, and work in a balanced manner. I’ve mentally trained myself to switch between environments so that when I’m at work, I leave my home worries at home, and when I leave my work premise, I snooze all my workload and leave all stress behind when I swipe out the door. It was difficult at first, but after encountering a few challenging situations both at work and at home, I began to handle them by compartmentalizing them and working on them. Try to get the hang of Work-Life balance when you are single so you don’t get stressed and affect your new life. Learn to be flexible and accommodating to new family members, and shift your mindset from ME to WE because you are no longer single but will have a life partner, so you must share everything from your favorite food, bed, closet, and heart. Have a broader perspective and recognize that your future spouse has dreams and visions as well, so you should be able to nurture theirs as well as yours together by assisting each other in all activities and expanding your boundaries to include your partner’s family members as your own. His/her parents become your parents as well, and vice versa. As a result, we require the proper marriage mindset because it involves two people and their families handle
3. EMOTIONS IN A BALANCED WAY: Emotions are important in all types of relationships. Each one emotes differently and expresses their emotions in their own way. It’s difficult until we figure out how each of them reacts to different situations to handle and have compassion for each other. Past hurts, breakups, childhood issues or traumas, identity crises, guilt, bullying, unforgiveness, brokenness, rejections, emotional bonds, soul ties, and so on are some of the root causes of emotional imbalance. Learn how to control your emotions and navigate them appropriately. Remember, your partner is not your doctor, so don’t expect your partner to handle everything completely after marriage. It can develop over time because no one is perfect and both can help and build each other up. But, before you meet one, I would advise you to deal with your baggage and develop your own coping mechanisms. Consider what would happen if two unhealed people met, or if one of them, as an unhealed person, became a burden to the other. Everyone faces challenges based on their ability to handle them, so navigate your emotions correctly and prepare your heart like a clean slate with an open mind to receive the love that you are meant to receive. “Unaddressed insecurities can become a hindrance in your next right relationship. “
We all encounter obstacles, but how we respond to them reveals our values. So, develop your venting mechanism, such as taking a time off and moving out of that place for a while if the situation appears stressful, listen to your favorite music, you may find it silly, but whenever I have gone through challenging situations in my personal and professional life that were breaking, I simply wore my headsets and listened to my favorite songs that encouraged me, such as devotional songs or some hard rock music, and went for a walk inside the premise of my work spot. Otherwise, in the worst-case scenario, I would have burst into tears inside the restroom and had to gather myself and get back on track. So, in this world, it is important to have your own coping mechanisms if you want to move forward against the obstacles, and you are the best judge for yourself, so figure it out rather than drowning in the problem.
4. PHYSICALLY: Maintain a healthy lifestyle and groom yourself in your own unique way. Self-care is not selfish, but it should not be over-indulged. To work on your inner beauty, strike the right balance.