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How to find the right partner

How to find the right partner

As we know, marriage is when two different people with two different mindsets, from different backdrops, journeys, backdrops, interests come together for a PURPOSE. Remember, God who knows the end from the beginning of your life knows who is the right one for you? He even knows what your future holds, we can maximum plan for 5 years in our life that to unsure of what the next moment holds during these seasons of pandemic except for the assurance and promise that God is in control.


It is very natural to have desires and expectations in your life. Sometimes, we would have a checklist as per our likes or a mindset about our future partner/relationship/love based upon exposure to this changing and fasting moving culture which influences us or even it can be defined by the environment we have been brought up in. Sometimes it can be realistic or a fantasy.

We need to understand that, two different individuals from different backdrops, mindsets, journeys come together in a relationship or in a marriage. So, definitely does not match every expectation in your checklist. Let me break this down simpler ” No two people are the same”. even your own siblings have differences of opinions and are of different mindsets. So, don’t get disappointed when you hit reality. But when we work it out together, we can turn our expectations into reality.

Few Tips for your Checklist:

  1. Make your list first to understand what you need
  2. Have your expectations realistict
  3. Be flexible in your choices if you have got your core/non-negotiable things right
  4. You can negotiate in your fringe/negotiable things


The core list is non – negotiable that you need to watch out is right faith and value system in place, good character, and habits, should have a purpose in life, who can build and love you for who you are, who can nurture you towards your goals so that you can grow together, having the right mindset and priority like to keep family above everything are recommended traits. These are a few of my recommendations but you can alter it accordingly.

The fringe list is skin stone, body shapes like you cannot expect everyone to be like models and external beauty fades over time, education and profession (If the individual is a hard worker who is working towards his goals to achieve his purpose then you can still give him a chance, that’s up to you this is just my recommendations).


In today’s world, everyone needs a compatible partner which means we should match up in terms of looks, passion, wavelength, career, hobbies, our preferences, our mindsets, same community. Just to brief it we choose according to what pleases us as individuals and our community. On the other hand, Suitability is slightly different but significant from the other in terms of your purpose/ calling, to have the right value and faith system, and also we should need a helpmate to build each other up towards the purpose. And, God being your creator who designed us for a purpose will be the best matchmaker to bring two people who he prepares them equally to accomplish the big picture of your lives as a family. Always, remember God’s ways are higher than what our small brains can process. So, wait for the one God has kept for you as He knows the blueprint of your life and what you really wanted.

I would recommend you to choose suitability over Compatability though it seems to be the same which lasts and don’t be in a hurry to pick your partner just because you need it or cause of social pressure. Discover yourself to discover your partner.

To sum up:

These are the tips I have been following and i’m sharing it to you as well. If I see the list which I had made 5years back and now it has been redefined towards maturity.

  1. Discover yourself and what you need
  2. Make a list but putting your heart’s desires about your future spouse
  3. Re-work on the list over time considering the core and the fringe list
  4. Prepare yourself for the one and wait for the perfect timing to see your list has become the written proof of what you have prayed and waited for and this how God surprises you.

I just want to leave a note saying:

” When you are meant to have a diamond, why pick random stones in a hurry”. Wait for the best instore for you.

Nivedita Devraj



Your Buddi – Find U First

Book : 1

Your Buddi – Find U First

*Notion Press:



Your Buddi – Am I Ready for the one?

Your Buddi – Am I Ready for the one?

*Notion Press:

For more details, please do check: https://niveditadevraj.com/books/

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