Barriers for our Breakthrough

Let us discuss about the barriers to prepare ourselves for our future partner.

• Busyness lifestyle– We are so busy in life that we don’t take the time to think about and plan for the next phase. We work for about 12 to 13 hours a day and spend the rest of our time on our devices. And sometimes we just keep doing it day after day, year after year. Only on our birthday do we realise we have progressed a year. Make a concerted effort to reflect on your own life and determine where you need to make changes. If you feel like your life is always busy, chances are you’re prioritising incorrectly. Many people have told me that I don’t have time to think about it because I’m too tired from doing my mundane tasks. We seem to put so much emphasis on work and other activities in order to move up the corporate ladder and improve ourselves. And we place the least emphasis on preparing to transition from single to married life.

• Misplaced priority in life -We do not follow the proper order in which yourself and your family should come first in life after God. Sometimes we prioritise things that make us happy over things that are truly important. I’ve made this mistake by putting my work and community service ahead of my family. I couldn’t really focus on my family’s needs because I was preoccupied with my own accomplishments and deeds, which gave me more fulfilment. I realised that this could have been a barrier to my breakthrough because if I can’t handle the responsibilities at my first home with my parents, how will I be able to handle my new home with greater responsibilities, and the first ministry begins at home. Also, I realised that even if I lose my job, I can find a new one, but my family cannot. I came to the realisation; I hope this helps you set the proper priorities. I believe your first priority should be your family, followed by God, regardless of gender.

• Negligence: It is caused by failure to act due to weariness from waiting for too long, or due to carelessness and running aimlessly. I understand that the waiting period is ambiguous, and our emotions fluctuate as people around us move forward in life, and it feels stuck when our wait has not yet ended. Sometimes I really believe that the delays in our marriage’s breakthrough are due to us not being prepared for it. Can you imagine a child riding a bicycle and being given a train to drive? it can be that tragic because a kid is unprepared for greater responsibilities. God sees and waits until you are ready to handle what He has planned for you. You might be surprised how come few of our friends married soon after graduation are able to handle everything. I strongly advise you not to compare your life to others’ because everyone’s story and timeline is unique. differs as their purpose also varies. As a result, each person’s transition in their life journey is unique. So, stay on track with your own transformation path, and everything will fall into place when the time is right.

• Lack of awareness & involvement towards the process: We show a lack of involvement due to a lack of exposure to the need to prepare, as well as past painful experiences and disappointments. I completely agree because I have been there. If you had asked me six years ago about preparing for marriage, I would have been surprised because I had never understood the difference between a wedding and a marriage as our society is so focused on when you are getting married but they have never taught us how to be ready for the realities of marriage in today’s dynamic culture. Fortunately, I received the necessary digital exposure and awareness, as well as lessons learned from my sphere of influence in this area, which assisted me in preparing myself as well as working with and evolving with other singles in the same boat. In today’s digital age, you can find anything on the internet; all you have to do is pick the right one. The only thing you need to do is invest time in exploring and educating yourself, just as you do in your career. Let me tell you something, in this game of matchmaking, you will have your success and failure stories because not everyone who sees your profiles is meant for you and will approve you, and that shouldn’t make you feel dejected because they aren’t the right one for you and they have simply missed you in their life. So, look on the bright side. If you see on the other areas of our life, when we are looking for something which we like and don’t find or get it, we are so determined not to give up and make sure somehow, we get it. But, in this case finding the one, I understand the life and emotions are involved. But I would never give up on the process because each failure is a stepping stone for your maturity because you learn what you truly require in a partner. So, keep giving your all and leave the rest to God. Never bring your past into your present or future because it is simply not meant to be in that season of your life, so don’t mix it up and miss out on your breakthrough season.

• Lack of Communication & Inhibition: I’ve spoken to singles in their late 30s who have communication problems and inhibitions that are preventing them from expressing what they need. Additionally, the very thought and total reliance that elders, family members, or their mentors would find for them has been a barrier without realising that each one has their own challenges and priorities in their own life to handle this can seem harsh but this is the reality and individuals have wasted years without taking any actions which could have helped them to find the one earlier.  I’m not denying that age is just a number, but when I realise this as the reason for expecting others to take action for them when they’re old enough, it makes me feel bad. I’m not sure if it’s because of stereotypical culture, the environment individuals live in, or the person who hasn’t realised it’s their responsibility as well to search for the one. Because I’ve seen the same individual find a way to get a job and take initiative, and what about their future spouse? My only suggestion is to follow God’s direction along with your family’s advice and act accordingly.

I apologise if I was harsh in this particular point out of genuine concern and seeing people’s years are just being wasted without taking any actions. Also, seek assistance from people you can trust and share your problem with them to get advice and help.